The wonders of Kayla..

So I went out with Kaiden, Kelsey and Dan today present shopping for my friends party on Saturday...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 00:55:34 -0400

So I went out with Kaiden, Kelsey and Dan today present shopping for my friends party on Saturday that I’m taking Kaiden too since their will be kids. I got my money my ex owed me. I thought he wanted to talk to me by the way he looked at me when I brought my friends with me so I wasn’t alone. Because I figured he didn’t want to talk. I texted him after dropping my friends off. Figured to see if he wanted one last talk before I cut him from my life. But just like I thought he didn’t care. He walked away just like i thought. It’s a loss cause. I put all my effort into someone who destroyed me. My plans were with him. Now I have to build my future alone. Which it’s something I need to get used to. I have a trust problem for good reason. All my life I’ve been backstabbed and broken. I honestly thought he was perfect the first time I met him. But from girls I’m meeting lately he treated them the same at first. I feel stupid for falling for false things. But that’s life. You fall for the wrong ones. I put all my time and effort into someone who ripped me apart. Who hurt not only me but my daughter emotionally. I kept forgiving him for the abuse and I guess I shouldn’t of. I should of put him in jail but I loved him too much to do that. I don’t know any girl who would do that. I gave him his life back and I got mine ripped away. It’s going to take a lot of time to actually fix what he tore away from me. I never thought I could love someone as much as Kaiden’s father until I met Alex and he opened my eyes to a lot of things. But he also hurt me worse than anyone. I actually thought I was going to have a real family again with Kaiden. But it was just false I fell for words that meant nothing. I should have looked at the actions instead. I fought and tried, got me no where. I defended him with my family and my friends. It’s insane how much I really did for this guy and I don’t think he will ever realize it. After everything i still stuck by him. After all the abuse and mental abuse. But even that wasn’t enough. Never thought this was going to end. But he’ll always want other girls and he won’t ever love me like he used to. So I said goodbye. I got my money I tried to see if he wanted to talk but he didn’t. So I deleted his number, deleted him from Facebook and Instagram. It sucks because when I saw him and looked into his eyes I just wanted to hug him and kiss him, tell him I’m sorry and to beg for him back. But I know I deserve better. I deserve to be loved and to be the only one. Not be an option. I just hope one day he’ll realize how much I did love him. My friends kept telling me tonight that I love with everything I have and that’s why I hurt. They saw how much I loved him even after the crazy shit.

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Tue, 18 Jun 2013 00:03:01 -0400

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Tue, 18 Jun 2013 00:02:44 -0400

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Tue, 18 Jun 2013 00:02:24 -0400

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Tue, 18 Jun 2013 00:01:44 -0400

evalinaghoulina: Literally me! I can’t wait to go to the...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 00:01:36 -0400

evalinaghoulina:

Literally me! I can’t wait to go to the @alamocitytattooshow this Friday! I want a tattoo but I don’t have much money. 😩😩😩 #tattooshow #sadday #iwantmoretattoos

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Tue, 18 Jun 2013 00:01:24 -0400

I hate this feeling in general. I don’t ever want to feel like this again.

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 23:11:57 -0400

I hate this feeling in general. I don’t ever want to feel like this again.

You're looking fantastic! Keep up the PMA and you'll reach your goal in no time! Happy Saturday!

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 23:10:45 -0400

Thank you a lot.

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Sun, 16 Jun 2013 22:02:03 -0400

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Sun, 16 Jun 2013 22:00:42 -0400

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Sun, 16 Jun 2013 21:53:45 -0400

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Sun, 16 Jun 2013 21:51:49 -0400

"Please, I want so badly for the good things to happen."

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 03:24:04 -0400

“Please, I want so badly for the good things to happen.”

- Sylvia Plath (via mermaidslovecake)

New game I bought Kaiden in new paltz. @kerryhegarty kicked our...

Sat, 15 Jun 2013 21:09:22 -0400

New game I bought Kaiden in new paltz. @kerryhegarty kicked our butt #bestfriend #daughter #cardgame #zeus

#thecaptainstable #greatpeople #cartalk #girltalk #funnight...

Sat, 15 Jun 2013 11:03:48 -0400

#thecaptainstable #greatpeople #cartalk #girltalk #funnight @jjjennerlynnn @xtimbob11x

I really just want to be seduced.

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 18:30:57 -0400

I really just want to be seduced.

gwenar-leours: “It is not enough to conquer; one must learn to...

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 18:30:14 -0400

gwenar-leours:

“It is not enough to conquer; one must learn to seduce.”

-Voltaire

shanacastro: Seduce my mind and you can have my body

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 18:28:04 -0400

shanacastro:

Seduce my mind and you can have my body

wild-nirvana: •my spiritual world•

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 18:19:53 -0400

wild-nirvana:

•my spiritual world•